Skip to main content

BLUE PILLS OR BLUE BALLS? EP 2

 Now that you’re well acquainted with Linda, let me tell you a little about her. By the time I am done with this episode, you’ll realize that she’s a special human being.

So, Linda aka the love of my life in the known world, comes from a family of three, and she is the OG of the three, meaning she is the first-born. Her father is a school principal of a certain high school, I didn’t bother to memorize the name. Her mother, as far as I am concerned, is a housewife. Did I mention that she is crazy smart? Way smarter than myself and most of the people I know.

The love of my life studies a certain medicine course, I am not sure about the details; I am not that attentive by the way. She goes to class all the time, she reads a lot of books, mostly erotic novels, and psychology ones, maybe that is why she is so smart. She seems to know what I want at the exact time that I want it, and she decides whether to give me it or not. However, now that I know a lot about her, I know that she rewards good behavior, and as long as I behave well, I get all the goodies I want. And the goodies are to die for!

She is slender, with thin muscles and average height. Her behind is average, but the hips didn’t shy away from growing, so she looks something like a Coca Cola bottle; sexy and yummy in a normal way. She has those breasts that resemble mangoes from the Ukambani region, meaning they are just the right size.

I feel that I should mention again that her greatest asset is her brain; that girl is extremely smart, and I’ve marveled at how she has outsmarted most of her friends and those thirsty niggas that camp in her DMs, who don’t scare me by the way, I know you might be tempted to think that I am an insecure turd; this is purely love folks, try it.

She writes in her diary every day. I don’t know what she writes in there, but I am not very trusting, so I am sure that in the future I’m gonna have to read it and find out what is it the love of my love hides from me. Whenever she is done with writing her journal, she secures it at a place that she knows I’ll never find. I have one rule with all the girls I date: never go through her group chat with her friends unless I’m feeling particularly strong that day or I just want to break up. Luckily, I’m not feeling any of those. But that diary! It gives me shivers every time I think about it.

Her relationship with all her exes is pretty tight since I know all of her exes, at least the ones she’s still in touch with. Before you start ranting with your insecure mentality, she doesn’t talk anything juicy with them, most of the time she asks them intimate questions but mostly out of curiosity rather than want. I know my girl, know yours.

There’s especially a very thirsty ex of hers called Manu, who bought a car a few months after they broke up. I thought that when men elevate, they’re supposed to sit down and wait to be chased by women, no? Tell me, then, what is Manu doing in my relationship, embarrassing himself? My babe calls her once in a while and she sometimes confuses the thirst straps she was sending to me and sends to that good-for-nothing Manu instead, but she always makes sure she tells me beforehand. Lanes my nigga!

So far so good, I’ve loved it here big time. I already mentioned that she doesn’t enjoy sex that much, her libido is lower than mine, which is to mean that we don’t do the deed as often as I’d like.

Anyway, today morning, I saw her phone and decided to snoop.

My God…

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Rhetoric of Politics

 Let's attempt to dissect some politics, shall we? I am one of those people who pride themselves on 'not engaging in politics.' Some say that to appear sophisticated, out of the ordinary, because 'politics is a game enjoyed by retards.' I am not one of those. I just don't see the appeal. But. Hailing from a country like Kenya, politics is shoved down your throat, and you either swallow it in all its ugliness or puke it. Let's pretend to swallow it for a moment. Plato, the man who summoned philosophy and beauty from Mt. Olympus and poetry from down below, used them to make a concoction that has been keeping us intellectually drunk for more than two millennia, had a lot to say about politics. And he did all that, to borrow from Will Durant's phrase, in lordly abandon.  First off, he claims that in order to understand politics, we have to be acquainted with the nature of men, for it is the people who are the key pieces in the chess that is politics.  If we ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Tell Me about Yourself

 Tell me about yourself. Well, my good friend, I have never really known how to answer that query—though I have used it on many occasions myself in trying to get a damsel to be softer towards me. Never really worked though. Now that I am on the receiving end of that statement, I feel like I’m in front of a panel of interviewers, and I don’t know where to start. It is always my intention, when I coin that phrase to a damsel, to leave it as open as possible so that the other person is free to talk about any aspect of themselves that they like—because there are some parts of ourselves that we would prefer remain buried and unknown. I’ll take it that way in this case as well: just blabber on and on about everything about myself that you might like to hear. Let’s start then, shall we? I am a man. A young man, though I’m not sure how long I can use that label. Minutes to me feel like days, staggering by slowly, and years go by like hours. Yes, that is a line from Skyscraper Stan’s so...
Post a Comment
Read more

Why We Help Others

 Here we are again, dissecting an issue that's the core of most religions as we know them. Why do we help others? Should we? Do we have to?  What happens if we can help them but decide not to? The shortest answer, according to religion, is that God will punish us if we don't. But that's taking the easy way out; human nature is not that simple. Let's start by defining some terms. Morality. Plato says it is 'the effective harmony of the whole.'  Jesus said it is 'showing kindness to the weak.' Nietzsche says it is 'the bravery of the strong.' Elusive, I know. According to The Cambridge Dictionary, it is 'a set of personal or social standards for good or bad behavior and character.' Let's roll with that for now. A set of standards, personal or social, for good or bad behavior and character. By saying social or personal, that doesn't give our definition the exclusivity that we need, because there are things I would consider to be mora...
Post a Comment
Read more